Your Cheating Heart

I found this along my web travels but can’t remember where… I would gladly give the credit to the writer if anyone knows who it is.

Written from the perspective of a wife who’s been cheated on - it makes some good points and also gave me a chuckle or two.

Enjoy!

1. Thou shalt have none other loves before me. Thou shalt not gaze upon any porno image, or any likeness of any thing that is online, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the place that you work.

2. Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor desire them: For I, the Love of thy life, am a jealous wife.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of our marriage in vain: for you will not be guiltless that taketh this name in vain.

4. Keep the dating day to sanctify it. Six days thou shalt labour, and do all thy work: But one night of the week is the one for us alone: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; that thy manservant and thy maidservant may date as well as thou. And remember that thou was a servant in the land of the other woman, and that thy wife accepted thee out thence through much turmoil and pain: therefore keep the date night.

5. Honour thy father and thy mother, and use their example, good or bad, to strengthen thy own; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the second half of thy life.

6. Thou shalt not kill our marriage when you don’t feel good about it; press on in adversity.

7. Neither shalt thou commit adultery any longer.

8. Neither shalt thou steal time away in secret, money from our retirement, or my affection and misuse it.

9. Neither shalt thou bear false witness about your affair or secret life. Be honest with me to rebuild my trust.

10. Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour’s wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour’s house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or her ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour’s.

Every cheating husband should be forced to have those tattooed on his butt…. We do need an 11th commandment though…

Thou shalt not tell lies and insult thy wife’s intelligence.

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